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How Important Is Sharing A Sense Of Humor In A Relationship?

Lisa McKay Activities, Fun stuff Leave a Comment

My eldest son turned three recently. Near the end of his party he came to me and lifted up his arms. When I picked him up, he snuggled into my neck and whispered sweetly in my ear…

“I just peed in the washing machine.”

And he had.

I laughed. It was either that or cry. I’m finding that parenting young children often presents me with that choice.

What have you read, heard, or seen that has made you laugh recently? Other things that have made me laugh (with the added bonus of being mess-free) include:

  1. Tim Minchin singing “If I Didn’t Have You
  2. 17 Of The Creepiest Things Kids Have Ever Said To Their Parents
  3. The best-of lists on Damn You Autocorrect
  4. A 10-month Old’s Letter To Santa
  5. 19 Unintentionally Disturbing Moments From Kids’ Books
  6. These Dog Shaming Photos

This week we’re all about smiles, laughs, and everything in between. We even have a mission for you: Find two or three things that you’ve found funny recently and share them with your partner. Before you run off and do that, however, let’s chat a bit about humor.

couple laughingHow important is it for couples to share a sense of humor?

It’s nice when your partner shares your sense of humor and laughs at your jokes (and your forwards), but it’s not always crucial. Plenty of couples don’t always find the same things funny and still have great relationships—they have fun together, communicate well, resolve conflict effectively, and find each other attractive.

When people say that they want to be with someone with a sense of humor, they don’t necessarily mean someone who laughs at all the same things they do. They mean someone who has a positive attitude and is able to see good where others might tend to see the negative, complain, or feel overwhelmed.

So if you usually laugh at your partner’s “funnies”, great!

If you don’t, look at your date time this week as a chance to get to know them better and vice versa.

However, before we get to your date this week, a word of caution. Not sharing a sense of humor isn’t always a problem for couples, but it can be. If you and your partner don’t usually find the same things funny, watch out for the following signs of serious incompatibility.

When not having a similar sense of humor can be a problem

A shared sense of humor isn’t essential to a relationship, but it is important to feel that your partner “gets you”. If you’re partner doesn’t get your jokes, that is one thing. If you feel like your partner doesn’t get “you,” that is another, much more serious, issue. Your love doesn’t have to sit on the couch and laugh at Saturday Night Live with you, but if they sigh and roll their eyes every time they see you watching Saturday Night Live, you could have a problem.

You definitely have a problem if your partner’s sense of humor frequently makes you feel:

  • Insecure
  • Put down, judged, and/or devalued
  • Patronized
  • Excluded
  • Offended

If you often feel this way when your partner is trying to be funny (or, incidentally, at other times) you should consider how compatible you truly are and whether you really want to be in a relationship with him or her.

What’s the bottom line about love and laughing?

Whether your relationship works well probably has less to do with whether you always laugh at the same things than whether you:

  • Communicate well
  • Respect and affirm each other
  • Find each other attractive
  • Enjoy spending time together
  • Resolve your differences effectively

If you don’t share a sense of humor but you love being with your partner, take heart! Your relationship is probably on solid ground. Over time, you may even find yourself laughing at more of the same things. Humor compatibility and shared jokes often develop organically over time.

This week why don’t you…

Share two or three things you find funny. And if you’re having fun, don’t stop there. Here are a couple of questions you may want to talk about:

1. What have you laughed and smiled at this week?
2. Do you have any favorite humor-websites? What are they?
3. Do your parents have a favorite story about something funny you did when you were little?
4. Describe a time when your partner has (intentionally or unintentionally) made you laugh.

Seen something online that made you laugh recently? Add the link below…

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