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Skype Sex: 3 Things To Think About Before You Get Virtually Naked

Lisa McKay Advice, Sex & Infidelity 3 Comments

In today’s world of constant connectivity, long distance relationships are more feasible and less taxing than they used to be. There’s still no substitute for actually being together, but being to text, email, and video chat can help two partners to feel as if they’re together, even when they’re far apart.

Frequent texting, emailing, and talking can build intimacy fast when you’re in a long distance relationship. When all you have to build a relationship with is words, you can get to know someone at a deep level quite quickly. And, for many couples, once they’ve established this sort of emotional intimacy, they feel drawn to explore a similar level of sexual intimacy.

Romantic or sexual intimacy in a long distance relationship can involve everything from e-mail flirtation to saying “I love you”, and from sending teasing “sext” messages to sexual video encounters. Every person is different in how they feel comfortable expressing affection and desire across the miles. But if you’re even considering “skype sex”, here are three things to keep in mind.

1.  It’s More Intimate Than You May Imagine

Many believe that any sort of attempt at long distance sex—be it by way of sexting, exchanging photos, erotic storytelling, or even Skype sex—lacks the intimacy of a true romantic encounter. After all, it’s just words and images, right? You’re not actually touching each other.

Well, yes and no. Yes, you’re not actually touching your partner’s body. However, words and images touch something just as powerful, maybe even more powerful—his or her imagination and emotions.

Any sort of sexual activity—whether in person or across distance—builds intimacy. In addition, engaging in phone or web sex across the miles will make it much more tempting to have sex when you meet in person.

If you believe that most sexual activity should be reserved for committed relationships, or you want to delay having sex with your partner, don’t dabble with phone and/or web sex. It will lead your minds (and eventually your bodies) in a direction you don’t yet want to go.

If you do want to experiment with phone and web sex, don’t let yourself be talked into doing or saying anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

2.  Beware The Possibility Of Revenge Porn

What is revenge porn? Well, it’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like. You have a bad breakup, and your hurt and angry ex-partner seeks revenge by posting explicit photos or videos of you online. In most cases, there will be little or nothing you can do to stop them, and once that sort of content is out there on the internet it’s almost impossible to remove completely.

You might think this couldn’t happen to you. Think again. Holly Jacobs didn’t think it could happen to her, either. As Metro Toronto reports, Holly “was in a committed long-term, long distance relationship with a man she trusted. To keep the romance alive, she participated in a private sexual video chat with him. She didn’t know he’d recorded it, but he did. She didn’t know that after she broke up with him it would go viral on the Internet, but it did. Along with her full name, workplace and contact info.”

This sort of behavior by vindictive ex-partners is becoming such a problem that some countries and states are starting to consider making it illegal to post “revenge porn”. It will be a long time, however, before you can depend on those sorts of laws to protect you from “unwanted exposure.”

So think it through. With the technology available today, your partner can record you with the click of a button. You won’t even necessarily know that you are being filmed. While you’re busy stripping, dancing, masturbating, or just talking dirty, your partner may well be recording it all. And even if he or she has perfectly innocent intentions at the time, good intentions are not always enough. Laptops get stolen, breakups happen, and formerly loving people can turn vindictive.

3.  You May Have To Get Creative To Conquer The Awkwardness

So now you know that skype sex builds real sexual and emotional intimacy, and that engaging in sexual behavior online is risky.

There’s also this… Getting intimate via video chat can be flat-out, um, awkward.

Even if you’re in a loving, trustful, relationship, and even if nothing gets you going like the sight of your partner and the sound of their voice, at the end of the day you’re alone in a room with a computer screen. It doesn’t exactly “come naturally”.

With some practice and some creativity, however, you will start to feel more comfortable.

There are some good suggestions for how to get over the awkwardness in a blog post at Adam and Eve, on creating sexy boudoir photo shoots. Their tips would work equally well when it comes to getting in the mood for phone or web sex. And here are some more tips on how to have phone sex without feeling awkward.

There are plenty of ways to get creative with this process, and a little practice (on your own or with your partner) can go a long way to making you feel more relaxed.

So, Remember…

When you’re in a long distance relationship the right words can cross the miles and touch your partner. Remember, though, it’s ultimately more important that your words touch their heart than increase their pulse rate. Don’t let yourself be pressured into doing or saying anything you don’t want to explore. And keep in mind that if your long distance relationship is becoming 20% talking and 80% heavy breathing, that’s not a relationship. That is a free phone sex hotline.

LDR Phone Sex Hotline

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Comments 3

  1. Don’t be afraid to get into it. Pretend like he is there and dress up in some sexy lingerie that really puts you in the mood. Don’t forget the sexy music too.

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