There just aren’t enough genuinely funny long distance relationship quotes out there, in my opinion. That old faithful: “This long distance relationship isn’t going to work: Fridge, you’re moving to my bedroom,” isn’t really a long distance relationship quote. It also isn’t really funny after the first couple of times you see it on on the quote boards.
Goodness knows all of us in long distance relationships can use a bit more funny in life, so I made it my mission this month to pull together a bunch of genuinely funny long distance relationship quotes.
Enjoy. Then send the link to someone else in a long distance relationship who could use a bit of funny in their day. Oh, and if I’ve left out your personal favorite, don’t forget to leave a comment and share it with us. The more the merrier.
Funny Long Distance Relationship Quotes
Definition of a long distance relationship: Inconveniently the most effective way to find out if you really love each other.Unknown
Whoever coined the term “absence makes a heart grow fonder,” was an idiot. Absence makes a bitch grow crazy.Toni Aleo
If anyone asks me “what is hell?” I would answer “Distance between two people who love each other.” Unknown
That, “You hang up first,” No, YOU hang up first” crap is really only funny the first two or three hundred times. Unknown
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.Unknown
I am in my bed. You are in your bed. One of us is in the wrong place.Unknown
Aw, your boyfriend’s at work and you miss him? That’s cute. Try being in a long distance relationship and get back to me. Unknown
If you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you.Unknown
They say long distance relationships will teach you to communicate well… We should be mind-readers by now.Lisa McKay
When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.Robert Brault.
I wonder why people still underestimate the authenticity of long distance relationships. I fell in love with his soul before I could even touch his skin. If that isn’t true love, then please tell me what is. Unknown
The rules of long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools: Walk, don’t run. And no diving in headfirst, even if the water looks deep enough.Lisa McKay
They say, true love doesn’t mean being inseparable. It means being separated and nothing changes. That’s bullshit. Things are going to change while we’re separated. WE are going to change while we are separated. But that just means I’ll have the grand adventure of learning to love new things about you when we’re together again. And I can’t wait!! Lisa McKay
Being in a long distance relationship is like being in school all over again: Distance teaches us to appreciate the days that we get to spend together and how to define patience. It reminds us that every moment together is special, and every second together should be cherished… And just like when I was in school, I’d rather skip class and kiss you in the stairwell.Lisa McKay
Him: “I miss you so much… When we finally get to be together, I’m never going to let you out of my sight again.” Her: “Aw, honey. I want to say that’s sweet.. but it’s actually sort of creepy.”Unknown
Want to learn how someone really handles frustration? Put them in a long distance relationship and give them a slow internet connection.Lisa McKay
I just want you to be happy, that’s all I want. Well, that and here. And naked.Unknown
I wanted to send you something sexy, but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.Unknown
Long distance relationships: Great for birth control. Not so great for simultaneous orgasms.”Unknown
Long distance relationships are awesome because there’s no sex, so you can focus all your energy on long, accusatory phone calls.Lisa McKay
If your conversations are becoming 80% heavy breathing and 20% talking, that’s not a long distance relationship. That’s a free phone sex hotline.Lisa McKay
Don’t you type at me in that tone of voice!Unknown
Let’s just skip to the part where we get to spend the rest of our lives together.Unknown
I miss you a little too often, a little too much, and a little more every day.Unknown
How do I know this long distance relationship is worth it? You are my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye.Lisa McKay
Hey, if you like funny things, check out JibJab
With a JibJab membership you can email your loved ones some happiness anytime you want. $18 a year provides unlimited access to JibJab’s entire library of more than 1500 goofy, sweet, and very funny e-cards and videos to personalize and send to friends and family.
Girlfriend’s birthday? Send her the video “Celebrating You” or put your face in the “Lightbulb Birthday” card. Boyfriend having a bad day? Put your face on the (entirely ridiculous and very funny) “female striptease.” And much more…
Leave a comment and share other funny long distance relationship quotes you know!