funny-long-distance-relationship-quotes

25 Funny Long Distance Relationship Quotes

Lisa McKay Fun stuff 4 Comments

There just aren’t enough genuinely funny long distance relationship quotes out there, in my opinion. That old faithful: “This long distance relationship isn’t going to work: Fridge, you’re moving to my bedroom,” isn’t really a long distance relationship quote. It also isn’t really funny after the first couple of times you see it on on the quote boards.

Goodness knows all of us in long distance relationships can use a bit more funny in life, so I made it my mission this month to pull together a bunch of genuinely funny long distance relationship quotes.

Enjoy. Then send the link to someone else in a long distance relationship who could use a bit of funny in their day. Oh, and if I’ve left out your personal favorite, don’t forget to leave a comment and share it with us. The more the merrier.

Funny Long Distance Relationship Quotes

Definition of a long distance relationship: Inconveniently the most effective way to find out if you really love each other.Unknown
funny long distance relationship quotes

Whoever coined the term “absence makes a heart grow fonder,” was an idiot. Absence makes a bitch grow crazy.Toni Aleo
whoever-coined-the-phrase-absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder-was-an-idiot-absence-makes-a-bitch-go-crazy-75960

If anyone asks me “what is hell?” I would answer “Distance between two people who love each other.” Unknown

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That, “You hang up first,” No, YOU hang up first” crap is really only funny the first two or three hundred times. Unknown

hang-up-first

I miss you like an idiot misses the point.Unknown

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I am in my bed. You are in your bed. One of us is in the wrong place.Unknown

funny long distance relationship quotes

Aw, your boyfriend’s at work and you miss him? That’s cute. Try being in a long distance relationship and get back to me. Unknown

boyfriend-at-work

If you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you.Unknown

if-you-think-missing-me-is-hard1

They say long distance relationships will teach you to communicate well… We should be mind-readers by now.Lisa McKay

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When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.Robert Brault.

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I wonder why people still underestimate the authenticity of long distance relationships. I fell in love with his soul before I could even touch his skin. If that isn’t true love, then please tell me what is. Unknown

i-wonder

The rules of long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools: Walk, don’t run. And no diving in headfirst, even if the water looks deep enough.Lisa McKay

The rules for long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools.

They say, true love doesn’t mean being inseparable. It means being separated and nothing changes. That’s bullshit. Things are going to change while we’re separated. WE are going to change while we are separated. But that just means I’ll have the grand adventure of learning to love new things about you when we’re together again. And I can’t wait!! Lisa McKay

they-say-true-love-separated

Being in a long distance relationship is like being in school all over again: Distance teaches us to appreciate the days that we get to spend together and how to define patience. It reminds us that every moment together is special, and every second together should be cherished… And just like when I was in school, I’d rather skip class and kiss you in the stairwell.Lisa McKay

ldr-being-in-school1

Him: “I miss you so much… When we finally get to be together, I’m never going to let you out of my sight again.” Her: “Aw, honey. I want to say that’s sweet.. but it’s actually sort of creepy.”Unknown

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Want to learn how someone really handles frustration? Put them in a long distance relationship and give them a slow internet connection.Lisa McKay

want-to-know-how-someone-handles-frustration

I just want you to be happy, that’s all I want. Well, that and here. And naked.Unknown

i-just-want-you-to-be-happy

I wanted to send you something sexy, but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.Unknown

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Long distance relationships: Great for birth control. Not so great for simultaneous orgasms.”Unknown

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Long distance relationships are awesome because there’s no sex, so you can focus all your energy on long, accusatory phone calls.Lisa McKay

long-accusatory-phone-calls

If your conversations are becoming 80% heavy breathing and 20% talking, that’s not a long distance relationship. That’s a free phone sex hotline.Lisa McKay

LDR Phone Sex Hotline

Don’t you type at me in that tone of voice!Unknown

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Let’s just skip to the part where we get to spend the rest of our lives together.Unknown

lets-just-skip-to-the-part

I miss you a little too often, a little too much, and a little more every day.Unknown

i-miss-you

How do I know this long distance relationship is worth it? You are my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye.Lisa McKay

how-do-i-know

Hey, if you like funny things, check out JibJab

With a JibJab membership you can email your loved ones some happiness anytime you want. $18 a year provides unlimited access to JibJab’s entire library of more than 1500 goofy, sweet, and very funny e-cards and videos to personalize and send to friends and family.

Girlfriend’s birthday? Send her the video “Celebrating You” or put your face in the “Lightbulb Birthday” card. Boyfriend having a bad day? Put your face on the (entirely ridiculous and very funny) “female striptease.” And much more…
Shop JibJab!

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Comments 4

  1. Very nice. I am in long distance relationship too and I read a lot of LDR quotes whenever I feel lonely. Thanks for this. It inspires me a lot to hold on to our relationship.

  2. Pingback: 65 Quotes about Relationship - Quotes & Wishes

  3. Pingback: 25 Funny Long Distance Relationship Quotes – Distance Doesn't Matter

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