21 Important Things To Do
If You Suspect Your Partner May Be Cheating


Practical examples and thoughtful questions that will help you spot signs of infidelity, assess the evidence, and build trust in your relationship


“Refreshing and helpful. This book is meant to help relationships for both parties, not to raise more suspicion for those already wondering whether their partner is cheating.”
(Amanda C.)

+ FREE BONUS

The “CHEAT SHEET”

Ten questions I get asked all the time…. answered

Yes, I need this book…

What People Are Saying:

“Lisa does a great job at acknowledging rational and irrational thoughts in this situation and exploring the meanings and possibilities behind them. I appreciate her thorough examination of certain behaviors, and how she gives multiple possibilities for those behaviors. Her section on (re)building relationships with cheating offenders is really great. I highly recommend this.”Chelsy R. (Amazon Reviewer)

About This Book

Something feels different. Could they be cheating? What should I do?


I want to tell you something important: You are not alone. More than 500 people a day land on this site looking for help on this topic.

I frequently get emails and comments from people worried about their relationship. Here are some of the most common questions they ask:

  1. “Why does it take so long for him to answer my text or call?”
  2. “Something has changed. We used to talk all the time, but now we don’t. What’s going on?”
  3. “I lied to her. How can I tell her?”
  4. “I see photos of my boyfriend on Instagram with some of his friends that make me nervous. Am I being paranoid or should I be worried?”
  5. “Is she just telling me what she thinks I want to hear?”
  6. “My boyfriend has cheated before. Does that mean he’ll do it again?”
  7. “Some days she’s distant. Other days she makes me feel on top of the world. What does that mean?
  8. “She won’t video chat with me. What’s going on?”
  9. “Why doesn’t he want to visit?”
  10. “She wants to keep our relationship a secret. What’s up with that?”

If you feel like things have changed, or you’re wondering if they’re interested in someone else, the hurt, uncertainty, and confusion can be all-consuming.

If you already know (or strongly suspect) that he or she has cheated, the anger, shame, anxiety, emptiness and helplessness can be overwhelming.

Bottom line? This stuff HURTS.

And the other bottom line? Staying quiet and ignoring the situation is not going to fix things.

Too many people ignore red flags and warning signs in their relationship. When they start to sense that something might be going seriously wrong, they try to wait it out. They hope that things will just go back to normal. This strategy almost never works. It usually just creates extra distance in your relationship by feeding a lingering mistrust and resentment. It makes things worse.

What helps?


If things are feeling hard and uncertain in your relationship, be proactive.

You’ve already taken the first step by searching for help and advice. Now make sure you get good advice.

21 Important Things starts by discussing 20 subtle signs that your lover might be cheating. Then we get to the really important part—what to do when something seems “off” and you’re not sure what to do next.

Whether you’re in a long-distance or same-city relationship, this book will:

  • Give you a logical, step-by-step guide to help you sort through your uncertainty and pain.
  • Help you assess the evidence and figure out what’s going on.
  • Coach you on when and how to take that difficult next step and talk with your partner about this stuff.
  • Give you concrete, practical examples of things you can do and say. (And things you should not do and say!)
  • Help you examine whether and how your own jealousy and insecurities might be at work, and give you some ideas about how to control that jealousy.
  • Help you figure out what you want for yourself and the relationship, and craft an action plan that is right for you.

FREE BONUS: The “Cheat Sheet”


There are some problems and questions that crop up all the time in long distance relationships when people are worried about their relationships. I listed ten of them earlier:

  1. “Why does it take so long for him to answer my text or call?”
  2. “Something has changed. We used to talk all the time, but now we don’t. What’s going on?”
  3. “I lied to her. How can I tell her?”
  4. “I see photos of my boyfriend on Instagram with some of his friends that make me nervous. Am I being paranoid or should I be worried?”
  5. “Is she just telling me what she thinks I want to hear?”
  6. “My boyfriend has cheated before. Does that mean he’ll do it again?”
  7. “Some days she’s distant. Other days she makes me feel on top of the world. What does that mean?
  8. “She won’t video chat with me. What’s going on?”
  9. “Why doesn’t he want to visit?”
  10. “She wants to keep our relationship a secret. What’s up with that?”

In this bonus “cheat sheet” I share ten real life examples of these problems and answer their questions. Learn from other people’s experiences, and hear my straight-shooting thoughts and advice about what it all means, and what you can do in these situations.

About The Author

Hi there,

Here’s a bit more about me, in case you’re curious about the person behind the pen, uh, keyboard.

I’m an Australian psychologist. I think I might be the only person in the world who has masters degrees in Forensic Psychology and International Peace Studies, because it’s a bit of a weird combination.

The Forensic Psychology part helped me out when I worked in a maximum-security men’s prison, with a police department, and for many years as a stress management, resilience, and communication skills trainer for humanitarian workers around the world.

The International Peace Studies part helped me out when I married an American aid worker. 🙂

In the decade before I married my beloved (and very peaceable, I should say) aid worker, I pretty much picked up another masters degree in online dating and long-distance relationships. Now I put all that “learned the hard way” experience to good use with this website.

A good relationship is one of the greatest sources of strength, joy, and inspiration in life. Here at ModernLove, I want to help you make yours better, stronger, and closer. I want to help you figure out how to get rid of uncertainty, and put a stop to things that are hurting you and making you angry. I want to help you build a love that makes you happy.

Grab it now for only $6.99